


My Soulmate

by Dear_alexander_potter



Category: Glee
Genre: Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Interviews, M/M, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-12
Updated: 2020-01-12
Packaged: 2021-02-27 06:21:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22232434
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dear_alexander_potter/pseuds/Dear_alexander_potter
Summary: Blaine is a successful actor, he has let go of memories of his father and the past, or so everyone thinks. But one simple interview question, sends a wave of memories flooding back to him. Can he resist turning back to his old ways
Relationships: Blaine Anderson/Kurt Hummel
Kudos: 31





	My Soulmate

**Author's Note:**

> Set around Season 3  
> Trigger Warnings for: Self Harm and related thoughts, homophobic language from Blaines father.

“So, Blaine, we can all agree that you are an amazing actor” Blaine giggled bashfully, “But is there a secret to your talent?”   
The interviewer is smiling, as if they’re trying to joke. 

Blaine stops laughing, he doesn’t get it.

He can’t say why. The truth is full of lies and hurt.

Blaine feels his mouth twist into a smile, one that doesn’t reach his eyes, that he doesn’t feel in his heart.

The real Blaine retreats back behind his familiar mask.

He hears a familiar voice quip “well I guess it was just in my genes,” a quirked eyebrow, “maybe luck.”

He appears comfortable, he hopes the camera doesn’t catch the way his hand wraps unconsciously around his opposite wrist, the way his arm begins to itch, the way his back stiffens at the next question; “Now we never hear much about your family, other than your husband of course,” A real smile this time-Kurt. “Do you think your parents have anything to do with your talents?” The mask slips straight back into place, a hollow laugh, oh she has no idea. They’re the whole reason he’s such a good liar. His parents, or at least his dad, could definitely have a place at the root of it all. 

The last thing he is aware of is a somewhat distant voice saying “Yeh, I guess, they really encouraged it you know” yeh, encouraged his lies. But he’s gone. Back to a time when he almost lost it all, even himself.

*flashback*

_Blaine sighed and placed the razor back in it’s little case, he grabbed the toilet paper he’d brought and dabbed at the blood, there wasn’t much this time and he couldn’t stop the voice in his head that said there should be more, it was the same one that told him to do this in the first place._

_The door slammed downstairs, Blaine shook his head to come back to himself and be ready to face his dad. Ha! Like he ever would be._

_The footsteps grew louder as Blaine’s dad hurled himself up the stairs, ready to insult his son, well he’d clearly had a bad day at work._

_“So, how’s my little_ fairy _today” the snarled word made Blaine flinch and sent him scrambling towards the head of his bed._

 _He reached for his phone._ Kurt. _He wanted Kurt. “Don’t go calling any of your weirdo friends either” he was right. He couldn’t drag Kurt into this, thank god his father didn’t know about them, Blaine shuddered to think of what he’d say, let alone do, to his boyfriend if he ever found out._

_“Oh, What’s this then?” His dad smirked, at the new cuts, surrounded by other faded and fresher scars on Blaine’s arm, “Finally caught onto the fact that your useless, finally realised how weak you are!” the final words are shouted, and emphasised by a finger jabbing at his chest._

_Blaine turns his face away, he knows what’s coming next, he deserves it._

_But then his phone pings, just as he thought today would be average, no worse than usual, the world crashed down again._

_Blaine prayed it would be Tina, Rachel, even Sam, anyone other than Kurt, anyone other than the boy he loved. His dad snatched the phone up immediately, there was no point in trying to get to it first. “Whose this “Kurt”?” It’s not a question, more like an accusation. “Why is there a love heart after his name!? AND WHY DOES HE END THE TEXT WITH “LOVE YOU”” He thrust the phone in Blaine’s face so he could read it_

__You got any plans Friday night? Love you xx __

_At any other time Blaine would be a blushing mess at his cute boyfriend’s text, he loved Kurt’s habit of sending “Love Yous” at the end of every text. He loved everything about Kurt, and that was why he couldn’t let his dad hurt him._

_“He-He’s no-one. I-I've never heard of them before, they’re probably just some creep who got my number” It hurt Blaine more than he thought to talk about Kurt this way, and he knew the lie was useless anyway, his contact was literally named with a love heart._

_This was all Blaine’s fault and now his true love was in danger._

_“Don’t even try to lie to me, Blaine Devon” His dad had given up on using his sons last name when he came out, as far as he was concerned Blaine wasn’t a part of this family, he was just some dirty kid who lived in their house, he only still lived there because of his mother. His dad was a sucker for his wife’s flattery. “Is this the little freak who turned you gay? I always knew. I always knew you din’t start out this way. All that nonsense about it’s how you were born, that you can’t change it. I always knew-” “Dad, please no! Kurt didn’t make me this way. He would never hurt me. And I can’t let you hurt him.”_

_“Why Blaine, what makes you thunk you can stop me, what makes you think he’s worth it.” “I don’t think he’s worth it. I know he is, much more than me.” he whispered the last bit, not sure wether his father heard or not. “But why Blaine?”  
“Because Kurt is my soulmate.” Blaine didn’t mean to blurt it out. He hadn’t had that moment of realisation yet, he wanted it to be special, a moment for him and Kurt, him and his soulmate. _

_And as soon as he said it he knew it was true, Kurt was the only person he had ever truly cared about, he was the one Blaine would walk through fire for. He was the one who let Blaine love himself._

*flashback ends*

“Um Blaine, Blaine are you okay?” a concerned voice snapped him back into the present, but it wasn’t the one he wanted. He wanted Kurt. He wanted to hear his husbands voice, he wanted to hear his soulmate tell him it would all be okay. But the interview was still going on, he couldn’t let all these people down. 

Besides Kurt was probably busy. As many times as his husband promised he would always be there for Blaine, that he would always have time for him, Blaine never quite believed him. He couldn’t stop himself reverting back to the young child scared of making someone angry or annoyed at him.

“Oh, yeh I’m good, yeh” He went to rub his head but was distracted the red skin on the back of his hand. 

Great everyone would notice, they would all see what a freak he was, tearing himself apart, still trying to harm himself no matter how validated others tried to make him feel. “Just-just excuse me a second.” he stepped out of the chair, and with a few more reassuarances to the crew and his assistant he rushed back to where his bag was, and slipped back to the bathroom. 

Blaine still carried a swiss army knife, when he could get away with it. No-one knew, especially not Kurt.

He couldn’t help it, he knew he would cave again one day, that the voice in his head would grow too loud, that he would always be too weak. As he fiddled around with the blade memories of that same day washed over him again.

*flashback*

_“Well if that’s what you believe, then off you go. I won’t stop you. Go be “in love” with your fag.” That was the last straw. “Don’t you dare call Kurt, or ANYONE that!” A moment of stunned silence from them both, “I-I just don’t understand. What did anyone ever do to you, wh-why do you hate me?” Blaine knew the answer though, he wasn’t good enough, he was weak, he was a monster, one look at his arms showed that. “You leave this house right now Blaine, and you never come back. Do you understand!” Blaine cowered away from his father again “I don’t care where you go, even if it’s to that other freaks house” Blaine grimaced at the insult but he knew nothing would make a difference, he just wanted to get out of there now. “Just never let me see you here again okay?” Blaine nodded meekly and grabbed his schoolbag. “Five minutes!” his dad shouted back as he slammed the door, making Blaine jump again._

_Blaine chucked random clothes in, the tops mostly long sleeved, Kurt may be his soulmate but he wasn’t ready for that conversation yet.  
There wasn’t much else to take, Blaine didn’t want memories of this part of his life, he just wanted to get away, forget and maybe one day move on completely. _

_There was a picture of him and Kurt at the Mckinley prom last year stashed at the back of his closet, out of sight from his dad. He liked to look at it sometimes, it felt different from just the pictures on his phone._

_Blaine threw the picture in as well, he knew Kurt had countless pictures of them up on his wall, even multiples of that particular one, but Blaine wanted to take it. Even just to stop his dad finding out more about his Kurt._

_Blaine slung the bag across his shoulder and walked straight out of the house. No point in saying goodbye to his dad, the man had stopped being his father years ago. Cooper and their mom weren’t home, and Blaine was grateful for the fact. They might have tried to stop it. No. They wouldn’t. No-one ever truly stood against their father. But the two of them might have at least shown some emotion, that was if they hadn’t just been pretending to care all these years._

_Blaine took his car and drove straight to Kurt’s house. The Hudson-Hummels would take him in wouldn’t they? They did care about him didn’t they? Blaine knew he would really just be a burden on the family but they’d always said he was a part of their family. Kurt and Carol especially constantly emphasised that Blaine was welcome to stay any time. But what if they hadn’t meant what he thought they did? What if they just meant over night? They surely wouldn’t want him hanging around all the time._

_Blaine shook his head, trying to stop the wave of tears. What if Kurt didn’t feel the same way, didn’t think they were soulmates? What if Kurt didn’t love Blaine? Had he just been fooling himself this whole time?_

_Of course Kurt didn’t love him. Who would? He couldn’t even love himself. Blaine looked down at the cuts running across his arm. He knew they were a sign that he needed help, but he could only see them as a sign that he was worthless, and stupid, and everything else his father had ever said. In that moment he knew it was all true._

_All Blaine wanted to do was give up, go home, apologise like a baby to his father, and see if he would take him back._

_But he was only a street away from Kurt’s now. He could just see him for a bit and then go back. Blaine nodded his head to himself, sniffled and turned the corner onto Kurt’s street._

_Standing outside the Hudson-Hummel house, Blaine didn’t actually have a clue what he was going to do. Thankfully the door opened before he could wimp out, and an excited Kurt Hummel throw himself at his boyfriend “Blaine!!!” he squealed and pulled the younger boy into a kiss._

_For a second Blaine almost forgot why he was there. It was just Kurt’s mouth on his, their lips moving in sync. “Ewwww get a room you two” Finn teased as he walked by, “Bye Finn” Kurt sighed and tugged Blaine inside “Hey Blaine” Finn called back, completely ignoring his step-brother. “Hi” Kurt rolled his eyes “So how come you’re here baby, not that I’m complaining of course” Kurt giggled.  
Blaine lost it then._

_He crumpled into his boyfriend’s arms, tears streaming down his cheeks. Kurt stood with him for a second, cradling Blaine closely, rubbing his back soothingly. “Shhh, you wanna go upstairs honey” Blaine nodded wearily and followed the older boy upstairs to his room._

_Kurt closed the door behind them and sat on the bed before pulling Blaine down to sit on his lap._

_“Did something happen with your dad?” Blaine sniffled and nodded. “ Okay...short term or long term?” he questions thoughtfully, “Long term.” Kurt nods and Blaine moves so he is straddling his boyfriend he misses him softly. “Can I stay here?” “Yeh, yeh of course you can, whatever you need baby.” “Thankyou.”_

_They sat there together for a few minutes until Blaine couldn’t stand the thoughts in his head any longer._

_“Why does he hate me Kurt? Why do they all hate_ us _so much? What did we ever do?” he broke down into sobs again._

_“Oh Blaine,” it broke Kurt's heart to see his boyfriend like this “I dont know why people act like this. But, I do know that we have eachother, and for me that’s all that matters.” “Me too.” Blaine smiled and rest his forehead against Kurt's. Together they could conquer the world._

*Flashback ends*

Blaine sighed and placed the Swiss army knife back in his pocket. He couldn’t do it. He couldn’t undo all his-their hard work. 

It took so long for Blaine to get over everything that happened, he still wasn’t but at least he could live a normal life. And he loved his life now, he had a succesful career he had Kurt and together they had conquered his depression.

He knew he would never fully recover, never really be “normal" but neither he nor Kurt cared and that was all he cared about now.  
His father was in the past, he could let the memories go at last.

With a few more deep breaths, Blaine walked out of the bathroom, and replaced the Swiss army knife in his bag, the same confident Blaine everyone was used to.

The interviewer smiled at him as he took his seat again. “Sorry about that,” he gives her a trade mark Blaine smile “No worries.” She smiles back, and he would almost think she was flirting with him.  
“Alright, so why don’t we talk about your husband, Kurt?” and Blaine knows he is back in safe territory now.

He could babble on about Kurt for ever. His adorable eyes, his cute smile, his beautiful voice. How strong he was. How much he had helped him, not just with his self harm and depression but everything before and everything since. The way Kurt let him forget about his scars and his past, and just focus on the here and now. Their lives together, the happy memories and their future. 

“Well Kurt, Kurt is just so amazing.” Blaine began with a dreamy look, in his eyes. “He’s my _Soul mate.”_


End file.
